ADAM'S 
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Here's  to  the  Garden  of  Eden 
Where  Adam  was  always  a-weedin' 

Till  Eve  by  mistake 

Got  bit  by  a  snake 
Who  on  the  ripe  pippins  was  feedin*. 

Then  a  longing  it  seemed  to  possess  her. 
For  clothing  sufficient  to  dress  her. 

And  ever  since  then 

It's  been  up  to  the  men 
To  pay  for  her  dresses, —  God  bless  her ! 

Wallace  Irwin  in  ''Toasts  and  Tributes"' 
By  courleiyr  o(  Rohde  6c  Haskins 


■'infliiiiitr  <i"iifi)iwrriiift  ifr 


i  JoO 


Air 


1^^/f:^/ 


IJi.U.I».UlMUlUJLL 


ADAMS  SOISLS 

Portrayed  by 

A'  G  ^  LearrLcd. 

Compiled   by 

Leila  -  Sprague^  -  Learned 


Copyright,  1906,  by 

A.  G.  LEARNED,  New  York 


First  Edition,  September,  1906.     5000 


INTRODUCTION 


WRITTEN  ESPECIALLY  FOR  ADAM'S  SONS  BY 

WALLACE         IRWIN 

The  Son  of  Adam,  doomed  to  stray 

From  Eden's  pleasant  sod, 
Still  wanders  in  a  dreamy  way 

Throughout  the  Land  of  Nod. 

He  goes  about  avoiding  trees 

And  woman's  wiles  serene, 
He  takes  to  cover  when  he  sees 

The  species  serpentine. 

Yet  woman  peeps  from  shades  and  nooks. 

Or  plain  or  picturesque ; 
He  finds  her  in  his  games,  his  books, 

He  finds  her  at  his  desk. 

Until,  poor  man!  he  can't  forego 

The  yearning  for  a  wife — • 
Love  makes  a  Purgatorio 

Of  Adam  Junior's  life. 


In  vain  he  flams  his  brain  with  fib: 
His  heart  will  not  believe. 

He  knows  he'd  give  a  dozen  rib 
To  reconstruct  his  Eve. 

But  ah,  the  beauties  that  entice 
Are  just  beyond  his  reach. 

He  swears  the  Fruit  of  Paradise 
Is  verily  a  Peach. 

Till  happy  day!  in  bridal  gown 
They  take  the  golden  train 

For  Eden,  where  they  settle  down 
And  start  to  raising  Cciin. 


PREFACE 


It  was  fitting  that  the  quotations  for  the  vol- 
ume "  Eve's  Daughters"  should  have  been  selected 
by  a  "Mere  Man."  Perhaps  some  people  think 
that  all  the  good  and  clever  sayings  have  been 
about  the  fair  daughters  of  Eve,  and  that  women 
are  the  most  interesting  subject,  not  only  to  men, 
but  to  themselves. 

Now  the  compiler  of  these  sentiments  about 
"Adam's  Sons,"  being  fittingly  a  woman,  has  ob- 
served that  men  are  an  all-sufficient  topic  of  inter- 
est to  themselves,  and  she  confesses  that  men  are 
the  chief  objects  of  most  women's  contemplation. 

Therefore  she  has  labored  conscientiously 
in  culling  out  the  best  things  from  the  mauiifold 
epigrams  on  this  fascinating  theme.  To  what  ex- 
tent she  has  chosen  wisely,  she  leaves  the  reader 
to  decide,  believing  that  at  least  there  is  sufficient 
variety  to  suit  all  tastes. 

The  blessed  sons  of  Adcim  must  not  condenm 
the  book  nor  meJign  an  innocent  compiler,  because 
so  many  of  the  cynicisms  are  uncomplimentcuy  to 
their  vanity.  Let  them  remember  that  writers  of 
all  time  have  had  to  say  bold,  bitter  things  of  us, 
to  get  an  audience,  and  that  simple  words  of  praise 
would  lack  the  spice  necesseuy  to  hold  our  interest. 

However,  the  compiler  is  confident  that  the 
illustrations  by  Mr.  A.  G.  Learned  will  furnish  suf- 
ficient reason  for  the  book's  being,  since  the  public 
received  so  kindly  the  former  volume  ("Eve's 
Daughters"),  also  illustrated  by  him. 

L.  S.  L. 


NOTE 


"  I  am  but  a  gatherer  and  disposer  of  other  men's  stuff,'* 
and  would  therefore  express  my  thanks  for  the  courtesies  ex- 
tended by  the  authors  and  publishers  holding  copyrights  of  the 
following  books :  — 

Nettie  Seeley  Murphy's  "  Isn't  It  So?  "  and  "What  Of 
It?"published  byj.  B.  Lippincott  &  Co. ;  Herman  Lee  Meader's 
"  Reflections  of  the  Morning  After,"  by  H.  M.  Caldwell  &  Co. ; 
Jennie  Day  Haines's  "Sovereign  Woman  Versus  Mere  Man," 
by  Paul  Elder  &  Co. ;  George  Horace  Lorimer's  "  Old  Gorgon 
Graham's  Letters  to  His  Son,"  by  Doubleday,  Page  &  Co. ; 
Minna  Thomas  Antrim's  "Mazes,  Phazes,  and  Crazes  of 
Love,"  by  George  W.  Jacobs  &  Co. ;  George  Ade's  "  Break- 
ing into  Society,"  by  Harper  and  Brothers;  "The  Foolish 
Dictionary"  and  "The  Foolish  Almanac,"  by  John  W.  Luce 
&  Co. ;  "  The  Matrimonial  Primer,"  by  Paul  Elder  &  Co. ; 
"Toasts  and  Tributes,"  by  Rohde  and  Haskins  ;  and  Lisle 
de  Vaux  Matthewman's  "  Business,"  by  J.  B.  Lippincott  & 
Co. ;  and  an  unpublished  manuscript  "  Mem,"  used  by  courtesy 
of  Caroline  S.  Rapalje. 

I  regret  not  being  able  to  give  full  credit  for  every  thought, 
and  beg  to  be  forgiven  by  any  author  who  finds  himself  quoted 
anonymously. 

THE  COMPILER. 


ADAM'S      SONS 


(^ 


If  Adam  had  had  before  his  eyes  the  warning 
example  which  he  set,  it  is  doubtful  if  he  would 
have  been  as  easily  fooled  as  are  his  sons. 

Lisle  de  Vaux  Matthewman. 

To  prove  his  superiority,  Adam  grandly  accepted 

the  apple  Eve  offered.      To  prove  his  inferiority, 

he  laid  the  blame  all  on  her  when  it  gave  him  the 

stomach-ache. 

Nettie  Seeley  Murphy. 

It  may  have  taken  a  hundred  centuries  of  evolu- 
tion to  change  a  monkey  into  a  man,  but  it  takes 
only  a  few  minutes  and  a  pint  of  whiskey  to  change 

a  man  into  a  monkey. 

Herman  Lee  Meader. 

Adam's  sons  rule  the  world. 
Eve's  daughters  rule  Adam's  sons ! 
Here's  to  their  good  health ! 
May  God  bless  them  all ! 

Hon.  Daniel  Nash  Morgan. 

Mankind's  an  uncouth  squad. 

Anon. 


ti^^^, 


S^ 


■/ 


/A      tf    X.. 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Distrust  that  man  who  tells  you  to  distrust; 
He  takes  the  measure  of  his  own  small  soul. 
And  thinks  the  world  no  larger. 

Ella  Wheeler  'Wilcox. 

TTiese  three  will  never  see  hell:  He  who  is 
purified  by  poverty,  he  who  is  hcirassed  by  impor- 
tunate creditors,  euid  he  who  is  plagued  wath  a  ter- 
magant wife. 

The  Talmud. 

Reputation  is  a  bubble  which  a  man  bursts  when 

he  tries  to  blow  it  for  himself. 

Elbert  Hubbard. 

A  stupid  mam  is  a  fool  who  never  speaks ;  in  this 

he  is  more  endurable  than  the  fool  who  speaks. 

He  who  speaks  little  has  the  advemtage;   the 

presumption  is  that  he  possesses  wit. 

Anon. 

The  professional  humorist  has  no  use  for  an  edi- 
tor who  can't  take  a  joke. 

Anon. 


30  tT)dLQv  fi)illioi)3  of  f^ce5,t9ti43t)oul^  be  pope  sJilre. 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Gods!  How  the  son  degenerates  from  the  sire. 

Pope. 

It  by  no  means  follows  that  we  stfe  not  fit  for 

society   because  soirees  are  tedious,  and  because 

the  soiree  finds  us  tedious. 

Emerson. 

TTie  high  hat  is  deemed  inharmonious  for  men 
of  low  salaries. 

Foolish  Almanac. 

A  fellow  may  know  everything  that's  happened 
since  the  Lord  started  the  bzJl  rolling,  and  not  be 
able  to  do  anything  to  keep  it  from  stopping. 

George  Horace  Lorimer. 

I  would  pardon  his  dulness  eind  even  his  ig- 
norance, for  one  might  be  the  fault  of  his  nature, 
and  the  other  of  his  education;  but  his  self-suffi- 
ciency is  his  own  fault,  and  that  I  will  not  and  can- 
not peurdon. 

Maria  Edgeworth. 
13 


ADAM'S      SONS 


All  books  2Uicl  no  business  makes  Jack  a  jack-in- 
the-box  with  springs  and  wheels  in  his  head;  all 
play  and  no  work  makes  Jack  a  jackass  with  bosh 
in  his  skull;  the  right  prescription  for  him  is  play 
when  he  really  needs  it,  and  work  whether  he 
needs  it  or  not ;  for  that  dose  makes  Jack  a  cracker- 
jack. 

George  Horace  JLorimer. 

He  might  be  a  very  clever  man  by  nature  for 
aught  I  know,  but  he  leud  so  many  books  upon  his 
head  that  his  brains  could  not  move. 

Robert  HalJ. 


'  Tis  my  vocation,  Hal,  'tis  no  sin  for  a  man  to 
labor  in  his  vocation. 

King  Henry  IV. 

That  fellow  seems  to  me  to  possess  but  one  idea, 

and  that  is  a  wrong  one. 

Johnson. 
14 


ADAM'S      SONS 


A  bachelor  is  an  unattached  mcin  which  any 
lady  may  stick,  stick  to,  or  get  stuck  on. 

From  the  Foolish  Dictionary. 

An  unmarried  man  is  but  hcilf  of  a  perfect  being 

and  it  requires  the  other  half  to  make  things  right, 

and  it  cannot  be  expected  that  in  this  imperfect 

state  he  can  keep  the  straight  path  of  rectitude  any 

more  than  a  boat  with  one  oar  or  a  bird  with  one 

wing  can  keep  a  straight  course. 

Anon. 

In  one  sense  men  are  not  fickle  except  in  trifles. 
They  change  their  clothes,  their  language,  and 
their  habits,  but  they  cJways  preserve  their  evil  in- 
clinations, are  firm  and  constant  in    wTong-doing, 

and  in  their  indifference  to  virtue. 

L,a  Bru^ere. 

The  happy  married  man  dies  in  good  style  at 
home,  surrounded  by  his  weeping  wife  and  children. 

The  old  bachelor  don't  die  at  all — he  sort  of 
rots  away,  like  a  poll5rwog's  tail. 


ADAM'S      SONS 


There   is   something   harder   to   bear  than  re- 
verses of  fortune ;  it  is  the  ingratitude  of  man. 

Napoleon. 

A  weak  man  is  sort  of  an  intermediate  being 

between  the  two  sexes. 

Anon. 

The  whole  creation  is  a  mystery  and  particularly 
that  of  man. 

Sir  Thomas  Browne. 

No  sadder  proof  can  be  given  by  a  man  of  his 
own  littleness  than  disbelief  in  great  men. 

Carlyle. 

Unless  above  himself  he  can  erect  himself,  how 

poor  a  thing  is  man. 

Daniel. 

No  man  can  be  considered  great  who  does  not 

move  until  he  is  pushed. 

Hubbard. 


'-_^      i^    'c.- 


J",'.  ■  ^ 


ADAM'S      SONS 


The  man  who  dares  traduce  because  he  can 
with  safety  to  himself  is  not  a  man. 

Co-wper. 

The  man  who  pauses  on  the  paths  of  treason 
halts  on  a  quicksand, —  the  first  step  engulfs  him. 

Hill's  Henryl  V. 

A  man  is  as  good  as  he  has  to  be, — a  woman 

as  bad  as  she  dares. 

All  Baba. 

I  call  him  poor  because  he  was  discontented  and 
envious.  It  was  in  vain  that  his  apples  were  the 
largest  for  miles  around,  if  his  neighbor's  vines  were 
the  most  productive  by  a  single  bunch ;  it  was  in 
vain  that  his  laimbs  were  fat  and  thriving,  if  some 
one  else's  sheep  bore  twins;  so,  instead  of  enjoying 
his  own  prosperity,  and  being  glad  when  his  neigh- 
bors prospered  too,  he  would  sit  grumbling  cind  be- 
moaning himself  as  if  every  other  man's  riches  were 
his  poverty. 


19 


Christina  G.  Rossetti. 


^"i^-r 


■.Ai„  3 


I  Jtelii. 


ADAM'S      SONS 


A  man's  standcurds  of  measurement  are  like  his 
cigaurs,  one  kind  for  himself  amd  smother  for  his  friends. 

Matthewirinan. 

A  man  whose  blood  is  very  snow  broth. 

Shakespeare. 

Any  man  may  be  in  good  spirits  and  good  tem- 
per when  he  is  well  dressed.  There  ain't  much 
credit  in  that.  If  I  was  very  ragged  and  very  jolly, 
then  I  should  feel  I  had  gained  a  point. 

Charles  Dickens. 


Politicians  are  men  who  volunteer  the  task  of 
governing  us  for  a  consideration. 

Fra  Elbertus. 

The  best  portion  of  a  good  man's  life:  —  His 

little,  nameless,  unremembered  acts  of  kindness  and 

of  love. 

Words  vrorth. 

So  over  violent,  or  over  civil. 

That  every  man  with  him  wets  God  or  Devil. 

Dry  den. 
20 


ADAM'S      SONS 


A  chump  —  ciny  one  whose  opinions  differ  radi- 
cally from  ours. 

Gideon  Wurdz. 

Many  a    man    is   uniformed  who  ought  to  be 

chloroformed. 

Nettie  Seeley  Murphy. 

He  is  an  unwise  man  who  builds  on  a  bluff 
and  doesn't  keep  the  bluff  up. 

L.  de  V.  Matthewman. 

If  you  selected  your  wife  because  of  her  style, 
don't  growl  when  the  styles  change. 

Matrimonial  Primer. 

Wise  men  often  avoid  the  world  so  that  they 
may  not  be  wearied  by  it. 

La  Bruyere. 

The  man  who  is  always  proclauming  that  he  is 
in  the  right  is  intolerable ;  the  man  who  admits  he 
has  been  wrong  is  charming. 


o 


o 


O 


© 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Maury !  no  faith ;  husbands  are  like  lots  in 

The  lottery.     You  may  draw  forty  blanks 

Before  you  find  one  that  has  any  prize 

In  him ;  a  husband  generally  is  a 

Careless,  domineering  thing,  that  grows  like 

Cored ;  which,  as  long  as  it  is  under  water, 

Is  soft  and  tender;  but  as  soon 

As  it  has  got  its  branch  above  the  waves 

Is  presently  hard,  stiff,  not  to  be  bowed. 

Marston. 

And  such  is  main  —  a  soil  which  breeds 

Or  sweetest  flowers  or  vilest  weeds. 

Bow^ring. 

Some  men  who  marry  and  settle  down  would 
have  done  the  world  more  good  had  they  remained 
single  and  settled  up. 

Prom  Sovereign  Woman  Versus  Mere  Man. 

Some  quaint  old  author  says,  that  man  is  too 

smooth  and  oily  a  nature  to  climb  up  to  heaven, 

if  to  make  him  less  slippery  there  be  not  added  to 

his  composition  the  vinegar  of  maimage. 

22 


-.■^>afe!^-.''^  ■ 


men  of  ^Qniuj  l^aVe  lo9^  l^ds.ii^.   r 

Cr^a  i3  tl^^t  It^d^  JoPgct  it  13  SPoWlr)^. 

^Vh^  3fteop^  13  tl^eAlljey'  like  iL. 

'TT'l^e,  tl^ii^c^  13  tf^dd  it  con7C3  cf^ea^peP;  tt^e^^ 

Wed^  it  lo9^  jor^  tt^e^ddpe  Pees^op   tijavt 

the\/  v^d&j^  tbeiP  l^eAj  ^^9^- 


ADAM 


SONS 


A  lazy,  lolling  sort. 

Unseen  at  church,  at  senate,  or  at  court. 

Of  ever  listless  loit'rers,  that  attend 

No  cause,  no  trust,  no  duty,  and  no  friend. 


Pope. 


Just  because  a  man  can  break  a  bronco  or  win 
a  prize  fight,  it's  no  sign  he  can  manage  a  woman. 

Gideon  Wurdz. 

The  man  who  lives  in  town,  and  thinks  he  is  a 

gay  dog,  isn't  a  marker  zJongside  of  the  respectable 

citizen  from  down  the  road. 

George  Ade. 

Drive  me,  O  drive  me,  from  that  traitor,  man! 
So  I  might  'scape  that  monster,  let  me  dwell 
In  lions'  haunts  or  in  some  tiger's  den. 

Man !  false  man !  smiling  destructive  man. 

Lee. 

What  then  is  man?  The  smallest  part  of  nothing. 

Young. 

25 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Let  no  meui  trust  the  first  f aJse  step 
Of  guilt,  it  hangs  upon  a  precipice, 
Whose  steep  descent  in  last  perdition  ends. 

Young, 

The  man  who  pauses  on  his  honesty 

Wants  little  of  the  villain. 

Martyn. 

One  may  take  it  that  no  man  is  sent  to  the 
world  a  ready-made  scoundrel.  It  eJl  depends  upon 
the  circumstances  of  life.  No  one  is  safe  right  up 
to  the  end,  and  events  may  combine  to  make  the 
best  of  us  into  that  thing  which  the  world  calls  a 
villciin. 

Henry  Seton  Merriman. 

When  the  gay  boy,  with  a  change  of  striped 
shirts  and  a  golf  club,  gets  back  from  a  summer 
outing  at  a  man-forsaken  hotel,  and  tries  to  repeat  his 
triumphs  in  the  city,  he  gets  the  same  sort  of  jolt  as 
the  fat  fellow  does,  who  steps  on  a  banana  peel. 

Herman  Lee  Meader. 
26 


t? 
o 
^oooooooo< 


>ooQoo<=::r300000cr:::oooooooc::ir=>c>oo  ^f^oao 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Many  a  man  rides  in  an  automobile  who  would 
appear  to  better  advantage  on  a  water-wagon. 

Foolish  Almanac. 

Read  history,  and  learn  how  conunonplace  men 

have  often  had  greatness  thrust  upon  them  and  met 

the  issue. 

Hubbard. 

Man  is  but  a  reed,  the  weakest  in  nature,  but 

he  is  a  thinking  reed. 

Pascal. 

Man  in  sooth  is  a  marvellous,  vain,  fickle,  and 

unstable  subject. 

Montaigue. 

Nobody  loves  life  like  an  old  man.  '^^ 

Sophocles. 

Sigh  no  more,  ladies,  sigh  no  more. 

Men  were  deceivers  ever, — 

One  foot  in  sea  and  one  on  shore,  / 

To  one  thing  constant  never.  ^'-. .  i\( 

Shakespeare.   ^.^ 


^ 


ADAM'S      SONS 


An  athlete  is  a  dignified  bunch  of  muscles,  un- 
able to  split  the  wood  or  sift  the  ashes. 


Gideon  "Wurdz. 

Small  men  are  provincial,  mediocre  men  are  cos- 
mopolitan, but  great  souls  are  universal. 

Hubbard. 

A  lot  of  men  who  get  one  dollar's  worth  of  food 
for  a  five-dollar  bill  down-town,  expect  their  wives 
to  get  five  dollars'  worth  of  food  for  a  one-dollar  bill 
at  the  comer  grocery,  and  to  save  the  change  to- 
ward a  pair  of  diamond  earrings.  These  fellows 
would  plant  a  tin  can,  and  kick  because  they  didn't 
get  a  case  of  tomatoes. 

Old  Gorgon  Graham's  Letters  to  His  Son^ 


ere  is  no  animal  so  strange  as  man. 


Carlyle. 


What  a  strange  thing  is  man,  and  what  a  stranger 

is  woman ! 

Byron. 
28 


fjooooooooooooooooooooooo^oooooooaooooooooooooooooooopo  ooooooooooooeo 


''ooooooooooooooooooc  0  0*300  000  oooooooooooo  0000000  OOOOOOOOooOooOOOOtfOOOO* 


ADAM'S      SONS 


If  heaven  had  looked  upon  riches  to  be  a  val- 
uable thing,  it  w^ould  not  have  given  them  to  such 
a  scoundrel. 

Swrift. 

A  vv^eak  mcin  in  office,  like  a  squirrel  in  a  cage, 
is  laboring  eternally,  but  to  no  purpose,  and  in  con- 
stant motion  without  getting  on  a  jot ;  like  a  turnstile, 
he  is  in  everybody's  way,  but  stops  nobody;  he 
talks  a  great  deal,  but  says  very  little ;  looks  into 
everything,  but  sees  into  nothing;  and  has  a  hundred 
irons  in  the  fire,  but  very  few  of  them  are  hot,  and 
with  those  few  that  are  he  only  bums  his  fingers. 

Charles  Caleb  Colton. 

My  saJad  days, 

When  I  was  green  in  judgment. 

Anton^  and  Cleopatra. 


What  a  frail  thing  is  man! 
31 


Shirley. 


Jk 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Bciit  your  trap  with  some  form  of  vanity,  and 
there  is  not  a  son  of  Adam  who  will  not  nibble  at 
the  baut,  if  he  does  not  swallow  it  whole. 

Nettie  Seeley  Murphy. 

A  feishionable  man  is  like  a  certjun  blue  flower, 
which,  growing  wild  in  the  fields,  chokes  the  com, 
spoils  the  crops,  and  takes  up  the  place  of  some- 
thing better. 

Anon. 

Touch  a  mam's  vanity,  and  he  expeinds  like  a 

green  bay-tree. — Touch  his  pocket-book,  and  he 

closes  like  a  clam. 

Nettie  Seeley  Murphy. 

Is  he  the  toad?  he's  rather  like  a  snail;  known 
chiefly  for  the  house  upon  his  back;  divide  the 
man  and  the  house,  you  kill  the  man. 

Mrs.  Brow^ning's  "Aurora  Leigh." 


I  cannot  talk  with  civet  in  the  room, 
A  fine  puss-gentleman  that's  all  perfume. 


Cowper. 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Man — Something  that  "goes  first  on  four  feet, 
then  two  feet,  then  three,  but  the  more  feet  it 
goes  on  the  weaker  it  be ! " 

The  Foolish  Dictionary. 

A  great  many  men  are  so  broad-minded  that  it 

makes  their  heads  flat. 

Myrtle  Reed. 

Three  things  a  man  should  not  leave  in  another's 
keeping,  —  his  wife,  his  wine,  and  his  word. 

Helen  Woljeska. 

The  happiness  of  a  married  man  depends  upon 

the  people  he  has  not  married. 

Oscar  Wilde. 

At  twenty,  men  love  women ;  at  forty,  girls ;  at 
fifty,  themselves. 

Minna  Thomas  Antrim. 

A  fellow  that  makes  no  figure  in  company  and 
has  a  mind. 

Anon. 
33 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Let  him  go  abroad  to  a  distant  country, — to  some 

place  where  he  is  not  known.     Don't  let  him  go 

to  the  devil,  where  he  is  known. 

Johnson. 

He  was  the  mildest  mannered  man 
That  ever  scuttled  ship  or  cut  a  throat. 

Byron. 

And  a\\  to  leave,  what  with  his  toil  he  won, 

To  that  unfeathered  two-legged  thing,  a  son. 

Dry  den. 

A  man  never  knows  how  to  live  until  a  woman 

has  lived  with  him. 

Mere. 

The  rudest  man  inspired  by  love,  is  more  per- 
suasive than  the  most  eloquent  man,  if  uninspired. 

L,a  Rochefoucauld. 

He  was  a  man  of  an  unbounded  stomach. 

King  Henry  VIII. 


He  is  the  very  pineapple  of  politeness. 


Sheridan 


34 


bctd^uje  tl)ty  »}evtr  rr)d^.^  tl^e  rtjt  o^  tr^e  CQn)p^t)y 
feci  lil^e  lAiot^. 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Men  have  made  of  Fortune  an  all-powerful  god- 
dess, in  order  to  be  made  responsible  for  all  their 

blunders. 

Madame  de  Stael. 

The  less  one  sees  and  knows  men,  the  higher 

one   esteems   them ;   for  experience  teaches  their 

real  value. 

Marguerite  de  Valoia. 


Let  no  man  think  that  he  can  devise  any  plaui 

of   extensive    good    unalloyed    and    unadulterated 

v^ath  evil. 

Charles  Caleb  Colton. 

I  have  seen  men  so  fond  of  argument  that  they 
would  dispute  with  a  guide-board  at  the  forks  of  a 
country  road  about  the  distance  to  the  next  town. 

Josh  Billings. 

Whose  little  body  lodged  a  mighty  mind. 


cr0^-^ 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Mamy    a    man    who  is  worth  millions  is  worth 

nothing  else. 

Lisle  de  Vaux  Matthewman. 

No  man  is  rich  enough  to  buy  back  his  past. 

Oscar  Wilde. 

He  who  gets  money  before  he  gets  wit 

Will  be  but  a  short  time  master  of  it. 

Anon. 

A  rich  rogue  is  like  a  fat  hog. 

Who  never  does  good  till  dead  as  a  log. 

Franklin. 

The  covetous  man  is  one  of  the  devil's  martyrs. 

Flyjoo. 

The  darkest  day  in  any  man's  career  is  that 
wherein  he  fancies  there's  some  easier  way  of  get- 
ting a  doUar  than  by  squjureiy  earning  it. 

Horace  Greeley. 

Machiavel  says  virtue  and  riches  seldom  settle 
on  one  man. 


Burton. 


38 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Where  lives  the  man  that  hats  not  tried 

How  mirth  can  into  foUy  glide, 

And  folly  into  sin. 

Wa7ter  Scott. 

Some  men  are  poor,  lots  of  them  are  stupid, 
most  of  them  are  u^y,  and  all  of  them  are  conceited, 
but,  nevertheless,  they  are  as  indispensable  as  bread. 

Meader. 

We  grant,  although  he  had  much  wit. 
He  was  very  shy  of  using  it. 

Samuel  Butler. 

A  poet  soaring  in  the  high  reason  of  his  fancies, 
With  his  garlamd  and  singing  robes  about  him. 

Milton. 

From  the  crown  of  his  head  to  the  sole  of  his 

foot  he  is  all  mirth. 

Shakespeare. 

1  never  knew  any  man  in  my  life  who  could  not 
bear  another's  misfortune  perfectly  like  a  Christian. 

Pope. 
39 


A      ^    t^ 


ADAM'S      SONS 


The  cigarette  is  for  the  trivi£j  moments  of  life, 
the  cigar  for  its  fulfilments,  its  pleasant,  comfortable 
retrospections,  but  in  real  distress,  in  the  solving  of 
questions,  the  fighting  of  difficulties,  the  pipe  is 
man's  eternal  solace. 
Katherine  Cecil  Thurston,     "The  Masquerader." 

Drawn  by  conceit  from  reason's  plan. 

How  vain  is  that  poor  creature,  mein ! 

How  pleased  is  every  paltry  elf 

y      To  prate  about  that  thing,  himself. 

Churchill. 

A  man's  a  fool 

If  not  instructed  in  a  woman's  school. 

Beaumont  fif»  Fletcher. 

All  mankind  is  one  of  these  two  cowards ; 
Either  to  wish  to  die 

When  he  should  live,  or  live  when  he  should  die. 

Sir  Robert  Howard. 
40 


ADAM'S      SONS 


A  maui  without  a  few  evil  intentions  is  like 
lingerie  without  lace — uninteresting. 

Herman  L,ee  Meader. 

The  man  who  is  always  having  his  feelings  hurt 
is  about  as  pleasing  a  companion  as  a  p>ebble  in  a 
shoe. 

The  Philistine. 

God  made  him,  and,  therefore,  let  him  pass  for  a 
man. 

Shakespeare. 

Some  men  don't  know  how  much  they  are 
worth ;  most  don't  know  how  little. 

Lisle  de  Vaux  Matthewman. 

Love  to  a  woman  is  a  complete  romance ;  to  a 
man  it  is  a  collection  of  short  stories. 

George  Ade. 

Man  is  only  a  protozoan  wiggling  through  a  fluid 
called  atmosphere ;  he  is  here  but  a  day  and  knows 
neither  where  he  came  from  nor  where  he  is  going. 

Fra  Elbertus. 
43 


ADAM'S      SONS 


A  vile  conceit  in  pompous  words  expressed, 

Is  like  a  clown  in  regal  purple  dressed. 

Pope. 

Whom  do  we  dub  a  gentleman?      The  knave, 

the  fool,  the  brute  — 

If  they  but  own  full  tithe  of   gold   and   wear   a 

courtly  suit 

Eliza  Cook. 

The  man  of  power  is  one  who  WTings  success  out 

of  the  strong  heart  of  defeat. 

Elbert  Hubbard. 

It  is   the  discreet  man,  not  the  witty,  not  the 

learned,  nor  the  brave,  who  guides  conversation 

and  gives  measures  to  society. 

Addison. 

Man  is  the  sum  total  of  all  the  animals. 

Prof.  Oken. 

It  is  dangerous  to  wake  a  lion  from  his  sleep; 
terrific  are  the  fangs  of  a  tiger;  but  worse  than  both 
united  is  man  in  his  delirious  fury. 


Schiller. 


44 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Many  men  enjoy  a  good  reputation  by  giving 

publicly  and  stealing  privately. 

Anon. 

I've  usually  found  that  these  quick,  glad  borrowers 
are  slow^,  sad  payers,  Jind  when  a  fellow  tells 
you  that  it  hurts  him  to  have  to  borrow,  you  can 
bet  that  the  thought  of  having  to  pay  is  going  to 
tie  him  up  into  a  bow-knot  of  pain. 

George  Horace  JLorimer. 

Since  Seraphim  cannot  abide  here,  it  behooves 

all   women   to   give   themks  for  decently  auniable 

men. 

Minna  Thomas  Antrim. 

Many  have  lived  on  a  pedestal  who  will  never 

have  a  statue  when  dead, 

Beranger. 

A  man's  honesty  is  in  proportion  to  his  opportun- 
ities, amd  a  womam's  virtue  in  proportion  to  her  cheirms. 
Nettie  Seeley  Murphy. 
45 


// 


^ 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Males    are  divided  into  two  classes,  men  and 
cads;  and  some  men  are  cads. 

Foolish  Almanac. 

What  is  a  man, 

If  his  chief  good  and  market  of  his  time 

Be  but  to  sleep  and  feed?     A  beast  —  no  more. 

Shakespeare. 

The  neighbors  asked  what  he  would  make  his  son ; 
"  I'll  make  a  man  of  him,"  the  old  man  said, 
"  And  for  the  rest,  just  what  he  likes  himself." 

George  MacDonald. 

Better  a  man  without  riches  than  riches  without 
a  man. 

Tennyson. 

I've  known  a  man  who  never  came  of  age  at  all. 
Though  he  was  ninety  at  his  death. 

I've  known  a  man 
Who  came  of  age  a  baby  in  his  bassinette. 

And  was  a  man  before  he  spoke  a  syllable. 

Mortimer  Collins. 
46 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Man  is  judged  by  his  deeds, —  woman  by  her 
misdeeds. 


/ '  Ik 
'■"I 


Foolish  Almanac. 


Three-fifths  6f  him  was  genuine,  two-fifths  sheer 

fudge. 

Lowell. 

Man !  an  heir  of  glory !  a  frml  child  of  dust ! 
Helpless  immortal !  insect  infinite !  a  worm !  a  god ! 

Dr.  E.  Young. 

Man  passes  away;  his  name  perishes  from  record 

and  recollection ;  his  history  is  as  a  tale  that  is  told ; 

and  his  very  monument  becomes  a  ruin. 

Irving. 

Many  men  resemble  glass,  smooth,  poKshed, 
and  dull,  so  long  as  unbroken,  then  sharp — every 
splinter  pricks. 


Men  have  died  from  time  to  time,  and  worms 

have  eaten  them — but  not  for  love. 

Shakespeare. 
49 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Happy  the  man,  who,  innocent, 
Grieves  not  at  ills  he  can't  prevent ; 
His  skiff  does  with  the  current  glide, 
Not  puffing,  pulled  against  the  tide. 


Green. 


How  cold  he  hearkens  to  some  bankrupt's  woe. 
Nods  his  wise  head,  and  cries,  "  I  told  you  so." 

Sprague. 

There  is  a  lust  in  man  no  charm  can  tame, 

Of  loudly  publishing  his  neighbor's  shaune. 

Harvey. 

A  man  may  give  his  wife  a  piece  of  his  mind  if 
he  chooses,  but  he  shouldn't  break  the  peace. 

G.  D.  Prentice. 

The  extreme  penalty  for  bigamy  is  the  plurality 

of  mothers-in-law  which  it  necessitates. 

Nellie  Gillmore. 

He  is  not  only  dull  himself,  but  the  cause  of 
dulness  in  others. 

Johnson. 
50 


ADAM'S      SONS 


No  one  is  a  real  man  after  he  has  lost  out  all 
the  boy. 


..     ^n 


Henry  Ward  Beecher. 


I  am  so  soon  done  for, 

I  wonder  what  I  was  begun  for. 


Anon. 


Nature  intended  you  for  a  man,  but  the  work 
was  botched  in  the  doing. 

Anon. 

A  Johnny  is  one  who  pays  $50  for  a  bunch  of 

violets  to   give  to  a  girl  he  wouldn't  speak  to  if 

she  weren't  an  actress. 

Frank  E.  Aiken. 

What  a  great  deal  of  time  and  ease  that  man 
gains  who  lets  his  neighbor's  words,  thoughts,  and  ,7/,y/ 
behavior  alone,  confines  his  inspections  to  himself,    .'''^ 
and  takes  care  that  his  own  actions  are  honest  and 
righteous. 


Marcus  Aurelius. 


51 


ADAM'S      SONS 


One  of  these  fellows  with  pink  tea  instead  of 
red  blood  in  his  veins,  who  hadn't  any  opinions  ex- 
cept your  opinions,  until  he  met  some  one  else. 
Preached  pretty,  fluffy  little  things,  and  used  "eau 

de  Cologne"  on  his  language. 

George  Horace  Lorimer. 

The  generality  of  men  employ  the  best  part  of 

their  lives  to  make  the  last  part  miserable. 

La  Bruyere. 

I  wish  Adam  had  died  with  all  his  ribs  in  his 

body! 

Boucicault. 

In  buying  horses  and  in  taking  a  wife,  shut  your 
eyes  tight  and  conunend  yourself  to  God. 

Tuscan  Proverb. 

There  is  nothing  a  mem  of  good  sense  dreads  in 

a  wife   so  much  as  her  having  more  sense  than 

himself. 

Fielding. 

52 


itef)^ir)6  01)  [)\n)  It)  p^r^licuU/^ll  l)'3  1'/^  'oQ^- 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Some  fellows  never  go  to  work  for  a  living  until 

they  have  given  everything  else  a  fair  trial. 

Anon. 

Most  men  have  died  without  creating ;  not  one 
has  died  without  destroying. 

Alexandre  Dumas. 

A  man  in  love,  if  sincere,  is  good  for  nothing, 

despite  all  that  has  been  pretended,  but  to  make 

love. 

P.  J.  Stahl. 

The  absurd  man  is  one  who  never  changes. 

Barthelemy. 

Great  men  unknown.  Old  theme !  There  is 
better  still:  celebrated  mediocrities  and  celebrated 
fools. 

From  Witty,   Wise,  and  Wicked  Maxims. 

An  inventor  is  a  good  man  laboring  to   obtain 

wealth  for  others. 

Charles  Narre^. 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Such  and  so  various  are  the  tastes  of  men. 

Mark  Akenaide. 

No  man  is  free  who  has  not  been  divorced  from 

popular  favor. 

Fra  Elbertus. 

The  man  who  hain't  got  an  enemy,  is  really  poor. 

Josh  Billings. 


,       _  ,  -  „  „  ^  '^^  more  honest  a  man  is,  the  less  he  affects 

^'^''^W^''>^^^^^^'§mrfC^^^^^      the  air  of  a  saint. 

Many  a  man,  who,  before  mezJ-time,  would  not 
give  a  sixpence  for  any  purpose,  will  postprandially 
talk  with  unction  of  the  miseries  of  our  race,  and 
hand  over  his  greenbacks  without  grumbling. 

William  Mathews. 

Honor  the  strong  man,  in  these  ages,  who  has 
shaken  himself  loose  of  shams,  emd  is  something. 

Carlyle. 
56 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Oh,  I  am  so  sick  of  the  young  men  of  the  pres- 
ent day!     Poor,  puny  things!     Creatures  so  ab- 
sorbed in  care  about  their  pretty  faces  and  small 
feet ;  as  if  a  man  had  anything  to  do  with  beauty! 
Charlotte  Bronte's  "Jane  Eyre." 

He  builds  his  goodness  up  so  high,  it  topples 
down  to  the  other  side,  zind  makes  a  sort  of  bad- 
ness. 

Mrs.  Brow^ning's  "Aurora  Leigh." 

The  man  who,  in  his  will,  provides  a  penalty  in 
case  his  wife  memries  ageiin,  never  had  any  confi- 
dence in  her  during  life.  He  thought  he  owned 
her,  body  and  soul.  It  is  bad  enough  for  a  woman 
to  be  owned  by  a  live  man,  but  to  be  dictated  to 
by  a  dead  one,  ugh! 

Fra  Elbertus. 

Seldom  he  smiles,  and  smiles  in  such  a  sort. 
As  if  he  mocked  himself,  and  scorned  his  spirit 
That  could  be  moved  to  smile  at  anything. 

Shakespeare's  "Julius  Caesar." 
57 


ADAM'S      SONS 


It  is  the  man  who  has  not  been  tempted  who  is 


proudest  of  his  virtues. 


Liisle  de  Vaux  Matthewman. 


A  man  with  a  few  brains  is  like  a  dog  with  one 

flea  on  him — dreadful  oneazy. 

Josh  Billings. 

Man  is  Creation's  masterpiece.     But  who  says 
so?  — Man! 

Gavarni. 

Man  comes  into  the  world  naked  and  bare, 

He  goes  through  the  world  with  trouble  and  care. 

When  he  dies  he  goes,  the  Lord  knows  where. 

But  if  he  does  well  here,  he  does  well  there. 

Hindoo. 

In  men  this  blunder  still  you  find. 
All  think  their  little  set  mankind. 


Hannah  More. 


58 


'H'" 


fr^en  wl^o  pe^int  ^^lp[;)j,  favll  in  love  witl^ 
jorr^e    bonne  et  br^dsVe  femme,  l^eakN/v^- heeled 
d^n^  jPeckle<X. 


ADAM 


SONS 


Eternal  smiles  his  emptiness  betray. 

As  shallow  streams  run  dimpling  all  the  way. 

Pope. 

There  are  daggers  in  men's  smiles. 

Macbeth. 

Every  time  a  man  lafFs  he  takes  a  kink  out  ov 

the  chain  ov  life,  and  thus  lengthens  it. 

Josh  Billings. 

The  man  that  blushes  is  not  quite  a  brute. 

Young. 

He  is  a  very  good  fellow,  but  pulpy;  he  v^ll  run 

into  any  mould,  but  he  won't  keep  shape. 

George  Eliot. 

Man  is  a  very  worm  by  birth, 

Vile  reptile,  weak  and  vain! 

Awhile  he  crawls  upon  the  earth. 

Then  shrinks  to  earth  again. 

Pope. 

A  lawyer, — a  gentleman  who  rescues  your  es- 
tate from  your  enemies  and  keeps  it  himself. 

Lord  Brougham. 
61 


ADAM'S      SONS 


He  that  abuses  his  own  profession,  will  not  pa- 
tiently bear  with  any  one  else  that  does  so. 

Caleb  Colton. 

Mere  mushroom  men — puff-balls  that  advertise 
And  bravely  think  to  brush  the  skies. 

0\ven.  Seaman. 


His  air,  his  voice,  his  looks,  and  honest  soul. 

Speak  all  so  movingly  in  his  behalf, 

I  dare  not  trust  myself  to  hear  liim  talk. 

Addison. 

Man's  like  a  banen  and  ungrateful  soil, 
That  seldom  pays  the  labor  of  manuring. 

Sir  Robert  Hotvard's  "Blind  L,ady." 

He  that 
Foretells  his  owm  ccJamity  eind  makes 
Events  before  they  come,  twice  over  doth 
Endure  the  pains  of  evil  destiny. 


L>avenant. 


62 


ADAM'S      SONS 


How  strange  it  is  that  some  men,  not  contented 
with  the  large  share  of  foppery  and  nonsense  which 
they  have  from  nature,  should  affect  yet  more. 

Frances  Bumey. 

When  a  fellow  has  saved  a  thousand  dollars, 
and  every  nickel  represents  a  walk  home  instead 
of  a  ride  in  the  trolley,  and  every  dollar  stands  for 
cigars  he  didn't  smoke  and  for  shows  he  didn't  see, 
it  naturadly  seems  as  if  that  money,  when  it's  in- 
vested, ought  to  declare  dividends  every  thirty  days. 
George  Horace  Lorimer. 

The  bookful  blockhead,  ignorantly  read. 
With  loads  of  learned  lumber  in  his  head. 

Pope. 

He  trudged  zJong  unknowing  what  he  sought, 
And  whistled  as  he  went  for  Wcint  of  thought. 

Dry  den. 

There's  method  in  man's  wickedness, — 
It  grows  up  by  degrees. 


Fletcher. 


63 


ADAM'S      SONS 


O  man!  while  in  thy  early  years, 

How  prodigal  of  time ! 
Misspending  all  thy  precious  hours. 

Thy  glorious  youthful  prime ! 
Alternate  follies  take  the  sway ; 

Licentious  passions  bum ; 

With  tenfold  force  give  Nature's  law, 

That  man  was  made  to  mourn. 

Burns. 


He  holds  his  tongue  until  the  people  actually  be- 
lieve he  has  something  to  say ;  a  mistake  they  could 
never  fall  into  if  he  would  but  speak. 

Maria  Edgeworth. 

A  regular  sawny,  good-humored  enough,  but 
weak  as  water. 

Edna  L,yall. 

Should  vice  expect  to  'scape  rebuke, 
Because  its  owner  is  a  duke  ? 


Swift. 


64 


<5r^3< 


„        ,  ffle^t)  ij  tf)e  circled  oaJ^, 


ADAM'S      SONS 


A  man  who's  subject  to  cramps  and  chills  has  no 
business  in  the  water,  but  if  you  start  to  go  in 
swimming,  go  in  all  over.  Don't  be  one  of  those 
chappies  who  prance  along  the  beach,  shivering  and 
showing  their  skinny  shapes,  and  then  dabble  their 
feet  in  the  surf,  pour  a  little  sand  in  their  hair,  and 
think  they  have  had  a  bath. 

George  Horace  Lorimer. 

Shall  quips  and  sentences  and  these  paper  bullets 

of  the  brain  awe  a  man  from  the  career  of  his 

humour  ?    No,  the  world  must  be  peopled.     When 

I  said  I  would  die  a  bachelor,  I  did  not  think  I 

should  live  until  I  were  married. 

Shakespeare. 

Sherry  is  dull,  naturally  dull;  but  it  must  have 

taken  him  a  great  deal  of  pains  to  become  what 

we  now  see  him.     Such  an  excess  of  stupidity,  sir, 

is  not  in  nature. 

Johnson. 
67 


ADAM'S      SONS 


It  is  not  good  that  man  should  be  eJone. 

Genesis. 

A  man  so  various,  that  he  seemed  to  be 

Not  one,  but  all  mankind's  epitome ; 

Stiff  in  opinions,  always  in  the  wrong, 

Was  everything  by  starts,  and  nothing  long ; 

But  in  the  course  of  one  revolving  moon 

Was  ch5Tnist,  fiddler,  statesman,  and  buffoon. 

Dry  den. 

For  most  men  (till  by  losing  rendered  sager) 
Will  back  their  own  opinions  by  a  wager. 

Byron. 

It  isn't  the  twist  of  his  mustache  or  the  color  of 

his  necktie  that  makes  the  man.       It's  the  gray 

matter  he  has  in  his  head  and  the  green  matter  in 

his  bank  that  we  take  off  our  hats  to ! 

Nettie  Seeley  Murphy. 

A  fellow  that  makes  no  figure  in  company, 
And  has  a  mind  as  narrow  as  the  neck  of  a  vin- 
egar cruet. 

Johnson. 
68 


ADAM'S      SONS 


One  of  the  principeil  occupations  of  men  is  to 

divine  women. 

Lacretelle. 

Some  men  deserve  glory  and  reward  for  having 

written ;  others  for  not  having  done  so. 

La  Bruyere. 


Man  is  not  the  Prince  of  creatures, 
But  in  reason ;  fail  that,  he  is  worse 
Than  horse,  or  dog,  or  beaist  of  waldemess 


(////'    '" 


Field. 


W    4 

As  long  as  mam  seeks  his  mate,  and  prop>o8es    ^-^^^^^^^^^         ,,^    / 
the  union,  lack  of  felicity  impeaches  only  his  judg-    ^,  J\,^^^^^^    v\ 


■:  m 


ment. 


The  Matrimonial  Primer. 


'//Ik    #^P^\\;^"      (( 


Men  who  say  they  have  exhausted  life,  merely 

mean  that  life  has  exhausted  them. 

Huhb&rd. 
69 


ADAM'S      SONS 


IF 

K  ri  I. 


The  things  to  be  desired  by  mam  in  a  healthy 
state,  are  that  he  should  not  see  dreauns  but  real- 
ities; that  he  should  not  destroy  life,  but  save  it; 
and  that  he  should  be  not  rich,  but  content. 

John  Ruskin. 

We  succeed   by  shrewdness, —  the  other  man 

by  trickery. 

Lisle  de  Vaux  Matthewtnan. 

He  has  common  sense  in  a  way  that's  uncommon. 

Hates  humbug  and  cant,  loves  his  friends  like  a 

woman. 

Lowell. 

The  man  who  knows  only  one  subject  is  next 
tiresome  to  the  man  who  knows  no  subject. 

Anon. 

I  still  believe  him  to  have  carried  a  spell  with 
him  to  which  it  was  a  natural  weakness  to  yield, 
and  which  not  many  persons  could  withstand. 

Charles  Dickens. 
70 


"=^ 


'Pbe  fellow  v/ljo  lil(ej  e<.co/f)cA  beef  ^.t^d  caJj- 
bo^^e  ^iel  oftet)  ipdyr^ej^p^tedefoie^gii^^^i/l. 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Who  do  you  think  can  hold  that  mules  exist 

but  not  asses? 

Epictetus. 

The  wickeder  a  man  is  in  this  world,  the  more 
fool-women  he  will  find  to  "poor  thing"  him. 

Nettie  Seeley  Murphy. 

Tew  remove  grease  from  a  man's  karakter,  let 

him  strike  sum  sudden  ile. 

Josh  Billings. 

An   enthusiEist  has  been  compared  to  a  man 

walking  in  a  fog;  everything  near  him  appears  clear 

and  luminous;  but  beyond  all  is  mist,  error,  and 

confusion. 

C.  C.  Colton. 

Ah,  why,  all-righteous  Father,  didst  thou  make 

This  creature,  man  ?     Why  wake  the  unconscious 

dust 

To  life  and  wretchedness? 

Porteus. 

73 


^^ 


ADAM'S      SONS 


When  he  is  best,  he  is  litde  worse  than  a  man ; 

and  when  he  is  worst,  he  is  little  better  than  a 

beast. 

Merchant  of  Venice. 

The  pity  is  not  that  man  has  descended  from  the 
monkey  but  that  he  keeps  on  descending. 

Lisle  de  Vaux  Matthewman. 


A  man  who  can  be  wound  around  a  woman's 
finger,  never  winds  himself  around  her  hezut. 

Minna  Thomas  Antrim. 

Man  has  a  perpetual  tendency  to  disintegration, 

Gail  Hamilton. 

Mules  are  like  sum  men,  very  corrupt  at  harte, 
— I  have  known  them  to  be  good  mules  for  6 
months  just  to  get  a  good  chance  to  kik  sumbody. 

Josh  Billings. 
74 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Experience  is  the  name  men  give  to  their  follies, 

or  their  sorrows. 

A.  de  Musset. 

An  idle  man  is  like  stagnant  water:  he  corrupts 

himself. 

ILatena. 

A  slave  has  but  one  master.     An  eunbitious  man 
has  as  many  as  may  be  useful  for  his  advancement. 

La  Bruyere. 

A  man  convinced  ageiinst  his  will 
Is  of  the  same  opinion  still. 

Butler. 

A  man  is  a  bundle  of  relations,  a  knot  of  roots, 

whose  flower  emd  fruitage  is  the  world. 

Emerson. 

Old  boys  have  playthings  as  well  as  young  ones, 
the  difference  is  only  in  the  price. 


^    li   iz. 


ADAM'S      SONS 


They  say  best  men  jure  moulded  out  of  faults ; 
And  for  the  most  part,  become  much  more  the  better 
For  being  a  little  bad — so  may  my  husband. 

Shakespeare. 

He  that  is  respectable  in  his  courses, 

Oft  sells  his  reputation  at  cheap  market. 

Ben  Jonson. 

How  miserable  a  thing  is  a  great  man ; 

Take  noisy,  vexing  greatness  they  that  please, 

Give  me  obscure,  and  safe,  and  silent  ease. 

Crowrn. 


Every  man  must  row  with  the  oars  he  has. 

Chaos  of  thought  and  passion  all  confused 
Still  by  himself  abused  or  disabused — 
Created  half  to  rise  and  half  to  fall. 
Great  Lord  of  all  things,  yet  a  prey  to  all ; 
Sole  judge  of  truth,  in  endless  error  hurled ; 
The  glory,  jest,  and  riddle  of  the  world. 


Anon. 


Pope. 


Cooooooaoo 


<70C=^0<7000> 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Man  blcimes  Adam  for  having  done  what  he 
himself  does  whenever  the  opportunity  presents 
herself  to  him. 

Lisle  de  Vaux  Matthewman. 

A  man  who  has  not  anything  to  boast  of  but 
his  illustrious  ancestors  is  like  a  potato — the  only 
good  belonging  to  him  is  underground. 

Sir  Thomas  Overbury. 

Profound  ignorance  makes  a  man  dogmatic ;  he 

who  knows  little  thinks  he  may  teach  others  what 

he  has  just  learned  himself;  whilst  he  who  knows 

a  great  deal  can  scarcely  imagine  that  others  are 

ignorant. 

La  Bruyere. 

Man    is    an    inflammable    piece   of  goods  and 

woman  is  the  match. 

Nettie  Seeley  Murphy. 

Talk  to  him  of  Jacob's  ladder  and  he  would 

ask  the  number  of  the  steps. 

Jerrold. 
79 


ADAM'S      SONS 


He  who  elevates  his  profession  is  the  best  me- 
X     chanic,  whether  he  preaches  the  gospel,  peddles 
phisick,  or  skins  eels  for  a  living. 

Anon. 

He  is  a  fool  who  makes  his  physician  his  heir. 

French  Proverb. 

He  who  is  successful  cein  sifford  to  smile;  he 
that  is  not  cannot  £ifford  to  do  otherwise. 

Lisle  de  Vaux  Matthewman. 

He  who  ascends  to  mountain  tops,  shall  find 

The  loftiest  peaks  most  wrapt  in  clouds  and  snow; 

He  who  surpasses  or  subdues  mankind, 

Must  look  down  on  the  hate  of  those  below. 

Byron. 

There  is  not  in  nature  a  thing  that  makes  a  man 
so  deformed,  so  beastly,  as  doth  intemperate  anger. 

"Webster. 

When   a   man   ridicules  certain  traits  in  other 

men,  he  ridicules  himself. 

Elbert  Hubbard. 


ADAM'S      SONS 


A  mam  may  be  a  duck  in  his  own  private  puddle, 

but  when  he  strikes  deep  and  strange  waters  he 

forgets  how  to  swim. 

George  Ade. 

When  you  see  a  fellow  swelling  up  and  telling 

his  firm's  secrets,  holler  "cash"  and  you'll  stampede 

him  back  to  his  haJl  bedroom. 

George  Horace  Lorimer. 

A  man  will  do  for  his  bicycle  what  his  wife  asks 

in  vain. 

Myrtle  Reed. 

As  men's  prayers  are  a  disease  of  the  will,  so 
are  their  creeds  a  disease  of  the  intellect. 

Emerson. 

Fond  mam !     The  vision  of  a  moment  made ! 

Dream  of  a  dream!  and  shadow  of  a  shade! 

Young. 

A  man  needs  seasoning  just  as  much  as  soup      ^    ^^^^^^§ 


Nettie  Seeley  Murphy. 


81 


ADAM'S      SONS 


; 


v^ 


Then  what  is  man  ? — And  what  man  seeing  this, 

And  having  human  feelings,  does  not  blush 

And  hang  his  head,  to  think  himself  a  man. 

Cowper. 

Men,  like  cats,  need  only  to  be  stroked  in  the 
right  direction. 

Myrtle  Reed. 

The  child  who  is  father  of  the  man  often  has 
cause  to  blush  for  his  offspring. 

Lisle  de  Vaux  Matthewman. 

When  a  man  talks  of  sitting  in  sack-cloth  and 

ashes,   he   zJways   means    broad-cloth  and  cigar 

ashes. 

Fra  Elbertus. 

Know  then  thyself,  presume  not  God  to  scan ; 
The  proper  study  of  mankind  is  man. 

Pope, 


-T     ' Man,  who  madly  deems  himself  the  lord  of  all. 


; 


is  naught  but  weakness  and  dependence. 


Thomson.. 


""^ 


I     ^\)t  beccl^elor  pdcvj  \)ij  rrjo^ev  to^o  ^.pii  J^Wlt  Itct 
\  urtj;  tlje  njAjrriie^  n)s^t)  j^etj  l)!5  adL  qoit)^  for  f)oib'9^ 
/   dcf}^  vel  3orT)C'  people,  <Kof)'l  j«,c.  Ipc  e^^VAQt^k^c 


ADAM'S      SONS 


The  man  who  smokes  thinks  like  a  sage  and 

acts  like  a  Samaritan. 

Edward  Bulwer-L,ytton. 

Just  as  long  as  men  are  paid  honors  and  money, 
can  wear  good  clothes,  and  have  immunity  from 
work  for  preaching  superstition,  they  will  preach  it. 

Fra  Elbertus. 

He  who  is  not  strong  before  twenty,  handsome 
before  thirty,  wise  before  forty,  and  rich  before 
fifty, —  on  such  a  man  even  beer  is  altogether  lost. 

German  Proverb. 

The  only  man  we  ever  heard  of  that  wasn't 
spoiled  by  being  lionized  was  a  Jew,  named  Daniel. 

George  D.  Prentice. 

Men   may   say  of  marriage  eind  women  what 

they    please:   they  will  renounce  neither  the  one 

nor  the  other. 

Anon. 
85 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Men  s^y  of  women  what  pleases  them ;  women 
do  with  men  what  pleases  them. 

De  Segur. 

One  may  smile  emd  smile  and  yet  be  a  villeun. 

Hamlet 

A  kind  and  gentle  heart  he  had, 
To  comfort  friends  and  foes ; 
The  naked  every  day  he  clad. 
When  he  put  on  his  clothes. 

Goldsmith. 

About  az  low  down  az  a  man  can  git,  and  not 
quite  spile,  iz  to  liv  on  his  wife's  reputashun. 

Josh  Billings. 

Mam  carries  his  superiority  inside,  other  animals 

theirs  outside. 

Russian. 

The  dunces  of  all  countries  propagate  the  maxim 
that  a  man  of  genius  is  unfit  for  business. 

Pope. 
86 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Every  man  Ccirries  in  his  soul  a  sepulchre — that 
of  his  youth. 

O.  Firmez. 

Every  age  has  its  different  inclinations,  but  man 
is  cJways  the  same.  At  ten  he  is  led  by  sweet- 
meats, at  twenty  by  a  mistress,  at  thirty  by  pleasure, 

at  forty  by  ambition,  at  fifty  by  avarice. 

J.  J.  Rousseau. 

A  mzm  does  not  look  behind  the  door  unless  he 

has  stood  there  himself. 

Anon. 

A  sailor  is  a  man  who  makes  his  living  on  water 

but  never  touches  it  on  shore. 

Gideon  Wurdz.  \^^^^ 

Great  men  undertake  great  things  because  they 

are  great,  and  fools  because  they  think  them  easy. 

Vauvenargues. 

Many  a  man  labors  for  the  day  he  will  never 

live  to  see. 

Danish.     ((( 
87 


ADAM'S      SONS 


When   the   Lord  makes  a  virtuous  man  or  a 

vaiinless  woman,  the  devil  feels  like  shutting  up  shop. 

Nettie  Seeley  Murphy. 

Always  suspect  a  man  who  affects  great  softness 

of  manner,  an  unruffled  evenness  of  temper,  and 

an  enunciation  studied,  slow,  and  deliberate.    The 

most  successful  knaves  are  usually  of  this  description, 

as  smooth  as  razors  dipped  in  oil,  and  as  sharp. 

They  affect  the  innocence  of  the  dove,  which  they 

have  not,  to  hide  the  cunning  of  the  serpent,  which 

they  have. 

C.  C.  Colton. 

Man's  most  unlovable  traits  are  those  which  could 
have  been  easily  eradicated  by  the  timely  appli- 
cation of  the  cowhide. 

Lisle  de  Vaux  Matthewman. 

Prone  is  man's  mind  from  Honor's  arduous  way 
To  verge  into  the  temporary  paths  of  gain. 

Pindar. 


I 

4i_  ' 

^ 

^ 

> 

s 

A  /I 

r/    vP''/ 

1 

Wll 


'^=^ 


iP"""*^/ 


'M 


7 


K 


^ 


le  ^^Vj?!<^y|§ooK  J^c  Woul^  pour 


i 


/■ 


_!«- 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Fame  sometimes  hath  created  something  of 
nothing. 

Fuller. 

Some  men  possess  means  that  are  great,  but 
fritter  them  away  in  the  execution  of  conceptions 
that  are  little ;  and  there  are  others  who  can  form 
great  conceptions,  but  who  attempt  to  Ccirry  them 
into  execution  with  little  means. 

Colton. 


A  crowd  of  fellows  in  the  cafe  of  a  smart  club 
will  make  the  conversation  at  a  woman's  luncheon 
sound  like  table  talk  in  a  mute  asylum. 

Herman  Lee  Meader. 

Here's  to  man;  he  is  like  a  kerosene  lamp,  he 

is  not  especially  bright,  he  is  often  turned  down, 

he  generally  smokes,  and  he  frequently  goes  out  at 

night. 

Anon. 

91 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Every  man  has  his  innings  as  well  as  his  outings. 

L.  S.  L. 

A  bachelor  seeks  a  wife  to  avoid  solitude;  a 
married  man  seeks  society  to  avoid  the  tete-a-tete. 

De  Varennes. 

Women  complain  of  the  lack  of  virtue  in  men, 
yet  do  not  esteem  those  who  are  too  strictly  virtuous. 

BlondeL 

Men  love  the  unattainable  virtue;  women  the 

unattainable  pocket-book. 

Nettie  Seeley  Murphy. 

Fortune  does  not  chjinge  men :  it  unmasks  them. 

Mine.  Necker. 

One  of  the  hardest  things  for  amy  man  to  do  u. 

tew  fall  down  on  the  ice  when  it  is  wet,  and  then 

git  up  and  praze  the  Lord. 

Josh  Billings. 

If  the  best  man's  faults  were  written  on  his  fore- 
head, it  would  make  him  pull  his  hat  over  his  eyes. 

Gaelic. 
92 


ADAM'S      SONS 


A  bat  in  the  hand  is  better  than  two  in  the  head. 
"Little  Bead-eyes." 

Men  will  wrangle  for  religion ;  write  for  it ;  fight 

for  it;  die  for  it;  anything  but — U've  for  it. 

Colton. 

Mankind  love  mysteries;  a  hole  in  the  ground 
excites  more  wonder  than  a  star  up  in  heaven. 

Anon. 

The  covetous  man  is  like  a  sponge;  it  takes  in 
all  the  moisture  that  comes  near  it,  but  lets  out  none 
until  it  is  squeezed. 


Man,  I  tell  you,  is  a  vicious  animal! 


Anon. 


Moliere. 


Every  man  is  occasionaUy  what  he  ought  to  be 

perpetually. 

Anon. 

A  man  has  two  eairs  and  one  mouth  that  he 
hear  much  and  speak  little. 


German  Proverb. 


93 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Few  men  would  care  to  be  "snapshotted"  until 

they  had  had  time  to  pose. 

Liisle  de  Vaux  Matthewman. 

While  pensive  poets  pjiinful  vigils  keep, 

Sleepless  themselves  to  give  their  readers  sleep. 

Pope. 

What  an  exceUent  thing  did  God  bestow  upon 
man  when  he  gave  him  a  good  stomach. 

Beaumont  Sh  Fletcher. 

There's  no  trust,  no  faiith,  no  honesty  in  men; 
All  perjured,  all  forsworn,  all  naught,  all  dissemblers. 

Shakespeare. 

Man  is  a  vagabond,  both  poor  and  proud, 
He  treads  on  beasts  who  give  hin:  clothes  and  food. 

Crofvn. 
They  say  he  sits 
All  day  in  contemplation  of  a  statue 
With  ne'er  a  nose,  and  dotes  on  the  decays; 
With  greater  love  than  the  self.-loved  Narcissus 
Did  on  his  beauty ;  How  shall  I  approach  him  ? 

Shakerly  Maruyon's  Antiquary. 


ooeec=^ooooooc 


>  oo  o^o  ^sz^ooooooo 


ADAM'S      SONS 


It  is  easier  to  be  a  lover  than  a  husband,  for  the 

same   reason  that  it  is  more  difficult  to  be  witty 

every  day  than  novv^  and  then. 

Balzac. 

Men  never  think  their  fortune  too  great  nor  their 

wit  too  little. 

Anon. 

No  man  is  so  tall  that  he  need  never  stretch, 
and  none  so  small  that  he  need  never  stoop. 

Danish  Proverb. 

in  most  men  there  is  a  dead  poet  whom  the 

man  survives. 

Sainte-Beuve. 

A    man    with  a  very  small  head  is  like  a  pin 

without  enny,  very  apt  to  git  into  things  beyond  hiz 

depth. 

■Josh  Billings. 

A  man  that's  fond  precociously  of  stirring 

Must  be  a  spoon. 

Thomas  Hood. 
97 


-J'     ■', 


n 


ADAM'S      SONS 


You  could  take  these  men  and  soak  their  heads 
over  night  in  a  pailful  of  ideas,  and  they  wouldn't 
absorb  an)^hing  but  the  few  loose  cuss-words  that 
were  mixed  in  for  flavoring. 

Old  Gorgon  Graham's  Letters. 

Though  man  a  thinking  being  is  defined, 
Few  use  the  grand  prerogative  of  mind. 
How  few  think  justly  of  the  thinking  few ! 
How  many  never  think  who  think  they  do ! 

Jane  Taylor. 

None  but  himself  can  be  his  parallel. 

Theobald. 

Men  are  but  children  of  a  larger  growth. 

Dry  den. 

Distrust  him  who  talks  much  of  his  honesty. 

Dussaulx. 

Maoiy  a  man  who  has  never  been  able  to  man- 
age his  own  fortune,  nor  his  wife,  nor  his  children, 
has  the  stupidity  to  imagine  himself  capable  of  man- 
aging the  affairs  of  a  nation. 
98 


ooooooooco< 


»0OOOO««  4 


diidi  r)QV(Lt^  put  l)cr^  pr^<?ciou5  Jev/el3  ir>to 
m^9    h)^^  QVci^  Vc?y  ^iropty 


ADAM'S      SONS 


To  remain  virtuous,  a  man  has  only  to  combat 
his  own  desires ;  a  woman  must  resist  her  own  in- 
clinations, and  the  continual  attack  of  man. 

Latena. 

Never  take  a  wife  till  thou  hast  a  house  (and  a 
fire)  to  put  her  in. 


Franklin. 


Men  and  melons  are  hard  to  know. 


A.non.     r'' 

Thought  is  the  first  faculty  of  man ;  to  express 

it,  one  of  his  first  desires ;  and  spread  it,  his  dearest 

privilege. 

Raynal.     ^ 

Man  is  but  man,  inconstant  still,  and  various ! 
There's  no  to-morrow  in  him  like  to-day ! 
Perhaps  the  storms  rolling  in  his  brain. 
Make  him  think  honestly  the  present  hour. 
The  next  a  swarm  of  base,  ungrateful  thoughts 
May  mount  aloft. 


ADAM'S      SONS 


There  is  only  one  thing  that  saves  many  a  man 
from  being  a  goose — his  sex. 

Lisle  de  Vaux  Matthewman. 

For  one  Orpheus  who  went  to  Hell  to  seek  his 

wife,  how  mamy  widowers  who  would  not  even  go 

to  Paradise  to  find  theirs. 

/.  Petit-Senn. 

He  who  is  never  guilty  of  follies  is  not  so  wise 
as  he  imagines. 

La  Rochefoucauld. 

He  who  praises  me  on  all  occasions  is  a  fool 
who  despises  me  or  a  knave  who  wishes  to  cheat 


Chinese. 

Man  is   not   depraved   by   true   pleasures,    but 

by  false  ones. 

De  LiacreteJIe. 

The  weaJthiest  man  is  he  who  is  most  economical; 
the  poorest  is  he  who  is  most  miserly. 


.m. 


ADAM'S      SONS 


One  mzui  falls  by  his  aunbition,  cinother  by  his 

perfidy,  a  third  by   his  avarice,  and  a  fourth  by 

his  lust. 

Ajton. 

A  bad  man  becomes  worse  when  he  apes  a 

saint. 

Syrua. 

A  good  man's  pedigree  is  little  hunted  up. 

Spanish  Proverb. 

Little  men  spell  things  out  with  sweat  £ujd  lamp 
smoke,  but  others  there  be  who  absorb  in  the  mass, 
read  by  the  page,  and  grow  great  by  letting  down 
their  buckets. 

Hubbard. 

Mcin!     Thou  pendulum  betwixt  a  smile  emd  a 

tear! 

Byron. 

A  mam  that  has  done  a  kindness  should  never 
proclaim  it,  but  do  another  as  fast  as  he  can !  just 
like  a  vine  that  bears  again  the  next  season. 

Marcus  Aurelius. 
103 


ADAM'S      SONS 


If  this  man  had  not  twelve  thousand  a  year  he 
would  be  a  very  stupid  fellow. 

Jane  Austen. 

Thare  ain't  but  phu  men  who  kan  stick  a  white 
handkerchief  into  the  brest  pocket  ov  their  over- 
coat without  letting  a  lettle  ov  it  stick  out, — just  bi 
acksident. 

Josh  Billings. 

He  who  goes  with  wolves  learns  to  howl. 

Spanish. 

A  man,  as  he  manages  himself,  may  die  old  at 
thirty  or  young  at  eighty. 

Anon. 
He  who  has  neither  friend  nor  enemy  is  with- 
out tcdents,  powers,  or  energy. 

Lavater. 

No  man  but  a  blockhead  ever  wrote  except  for 
money. 

Johnson. 


ADAM'S      SONS 


A   man  is  in  general  better  pleased  when  he 
has  a  good  dinner  than  when  his  wife  talks  Greek. 

Samuel  Johnson. 


For  every  inch  that  is  not  fool  is  rogue. 


Dry  den. 


A  man  may  cry  "Church!  Church!"  at  every  word 
With  no  more  piety  than  other  people ; 
A  daw's  not  reckoned  a  religious  bird, 
Because  it  keeps  a-cawing  from  a  steeple. 

Thomas  Hood. 

If  man  knew  well  what  life  is,  he  would  not 

give  it  so  inconsiderately. 

Mme.  Roland. 


When  you  strike  ile  stop  boreing;  menny  a  man 
haz  bored  klean  thru  and  let  the  ile  run  out  at  the 
bottom. 

Josh  Billings. 
107 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Man  argues  women  may  not  be  trusted  too  far ; 
woman  feels  man  cannot  be  trusted  too  near. 

Browne. 

Old  men  are  always  jeeJous;  they  are  like  the 
greedy  child  who  wants  the  cake  it  cannot  eat. 

A.  Ricard. 


Men  would  not  live  long  in  society  if  they  were 

not  the  dupes  of  each  other. 

L,a  Bruyere. 

There  are  two  kinds  of  men  that  I  don't  want  to 

meet  when  in  a  great  hurry ;  men  that  I  owe  and 

men  that  want  to  owe  me. 

Anon. 

Blessed  is  the  man  who,  having  nothing  to  say, 
abstains  from  giving  wordy  evidence  of  the  fact, 
from  calling  us  to  look  through  a  heap  of  millet- 
seed  in  order  to  be  sure  there  is  no  pearl  in  it. 

George  Eliot. 
106 


ADAM'S     SONS 


Qualities  of  a  too  superior  order  render  a  man 
less  adapted  to  society.  One  does  not  go  to  mar- 
ket with  big  lumps  of  gold ;  one  goes  with  silver 

or  small  change. 

Chamfort. 

Great  men,  like  comets,  are  eccentric  in  their 

courses,    and    formed    to    do    extensive  good,  by 

modes  uninteOigible  to  vulgar  minds. 

C.  C.  Colton. 

Shallow  men  speak  of  the  past,  wise  men  of  the 

present,  and  fools  of  the  future. 

Mme.  du  Deffand. 

Men  who  think  alike  and  feel  alike  do  not  have 
to  "get  acquciinted."     Heart  speaks  to  heart. 

Fra  Elbertus. 

Man  was  built  after  all  other  things  were  made 
and  pronounced  good.  If  not  he  would  have  in- 
sisted on  giving  his  orders  as  to  the  rest  of  the  job. 


Anon. 


A  little,  round,  fat,  oily  man  of  God 


ADAM'S      SONS 


,(^ 


(pa 


M 


Sum  marry  for   buty,  and  never  discover  their 

mistake ;  this  is  lucky. 

Josh  Billings. 

He  who  is  devoted  to  everybody  is  devoted  to 

nobody. 

C.  Delavigne. 

He  knows  little  who  wiD  tell  his  wife  all  he  knows. 

Fuller. 

Men  lived  like  fishes ;  the  great  ones  devoured 

the  small. 

Algernon  Sidney. 

Every  man  is  practically  three  men, —  the  man 
l  //f       you  knew  before  he  proposed,  the  man  you  ac- 
cepted; and  the  man  you've  married. 

John  Oliver  Hobbes. 

^^  ^.  What  a  piece  of  work  is  man!  how  noble  in 

'^P^^W  /i)       reason,  how  infinite  in  faculty !  in  form  and  mov- 

ing  how  admirable !  in  action  how  like  an  angel ! 

in  apprehension  how  like  a  god !  the  beauty  of  the 

world!  the  paragon  of  animals! 

Shakespeare. 


^  I        I  II  I  II  ■■      "       "  ~ 

wl^erj    "^ou f}6    rr)(Lr}  ^Pd  b\?.    It^    too 
(I  ipuch    ^bei^e  d^r^e  boup^  to  buma^r) 


ADAM'S      SONS 


God  be  thanked,  the  meanest  of  his  creatures 
Boasts  two  soul-sides, — one  to  face  the  world  with, 
One  to  show  a  woman  when  he  loves  her. 

Browning. 

It  is  as  difficult  to  find  a  vain  man  w^ho  considers 
himself  appreciated  as  it  is  to  find  a  modest  man 
who  thinks  himself  undervalued. 

La  Bruyere. 

All  poets  pretend  to  write  for  immortality,  but 

the  whole  tribe  have  no  objection  to  present  pay 

and  present  praise. 

C.  C.  Colton. 

It  is  barely  possible  that  you  have  a  wife  who 
would  prefer  a  daily  letter  during  your  absence  in- 
stead of  some  new  bauble  on  your  return. 

Matrimonial  Primer. 

A  gentleman  is  a  man  who  looks  and  acts  like  a 
gentleman  even  when  he  isn't  dressed  like  a  gentle- 
man. 

From  Sovereign  Woman  versus  Mere  Man. 
113 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Men,  like  cattle,  follow  him  who  leads. 


Byron. 


Great  men  are  like  meteors ;  they  glitter  and  are 
consumed  to  enlighten  the  world. 

Napoleon  I. 

An  honest  man,  close  button'd  to  the  chin. 
Broadcloth  without,  and  a  warm  heart  within. 

Cowper. 


He  was  a  very  good  hater. 


Johnson. 


Married  men  who  jure  allowed  one  night  a  week 
at  their  club  are  like  old  horses  turned  into  a  pas- 
ture. They  want  to  cut  up,  but  have  forgotten 
how. 

Meader. 

He  who  thinks  he  can  do  wnthout  the  world 
deceives  himself ;  but  he  who  thinks  that  the  world 
cannot  do  wnthout  him  is  still  more  in  error. 

La  Rochefoucauld. 
114 


ADAM'S      SONS 


A  mcin  has  but  the  one  puny  life ;  the  one  tiny 
spark  of  faith.  Better  be  venturesome  with  both 
for  God's  sake,  than  over  cautious,  over  thrifty. 

Mrs.  Humphry  Ward. 

Give  your  preference  to  the  lean  man  and  the 
middle  weights.  The  world  is  full  of  smart  and 
rich  fat  men,  but  most  of  them  got  their  smartness 
and  their  riches  before  they  got  their  fat. 

George  Horace  Lorimer. 

Limited  in  his  nature,  infinite  in  his  desires,  man 
is  a  faUen  god  who  remembers  heaven. 

He  that  can  please  nobody  is  not  so  much  to 

be  pitied  as  he  that  nobody  can  please. 

C. 

TTie  rarer  a  man's  qualities  are,  the  more  he  will 
be  found  fait  with, —  dust  on  a  dimond  iz  alwuss 

more  noticeable  than  dust  on  a  brik. 

Josh  Billings. 
115 


^^' 


ADAM'S      SONS 


The  sallow  man  taking  tea  and  toast  in  a  far 
comer  of  a  restaurant  may  be  a  millionaire,  but  the 
hearty  fellow  shouting  for  terrapin  and  canvas- back 
is  probably  earning  a  hundred  and  fifty  a  month. 

Merman  L,ee  Meader. 

There  are  two  kinds  of  men  who  succeed  as 

pubhc  characters, —  men  of  no  principle  but  of  great 

talent,  and  men  of  no  talent,  but  of  one  principle, 

that  of  obedience  to  their  superiors. 

Bishop  of  Liandaff. 

We're  not  denying  that  women  are  foolish; 
God  Almighty  made  them  to  match  the  men. 

George  Eliot. 

Let  me  have  men  about  me  that  are  fat. 
Sleek-headed  men,  and  such  as  sleep  o*  nights : 
Yond  Cassius  has  a  lean  and  hungry  look ; 
He  thinks  too  much :  such  men  are  dangerous. 

Shakespeare's  "Julius  Caesar." 

The  fool  of  fate, — thy  manufacture,  man. 

Pope. 
116 


&^r>A  2^  junr^p,  Witl^  botl^  cy'e^  ir)td9t  09 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Of  all  men,  Adam  was  the  happiest  —  he  had 

no  mother-in-law. 

P.  Parfait. 

He  might  have  proved  a  useful  adjunct,  if  not 
an  ornament  to  society. 


Every  great  man  is  a  unique 


Charles  Liamb. 


Anon. 


A  necessitous  man  who  gives  costly  dinners  pays 

large  sums  to  be  laughed  at. 

Colton. 

It  is  as  easy  for  the  strong  man  to  be  strong  as 

for  the  weak  to  be  weak. 

Emerson. ' 

He  that  is  so  very  solicitous  about  being  taJked 
of  when  he  is  dead,  and  makes  his  memory  his  in- 
clination, does  not  consider  that  all  who  knew  him 
will  quickly  be  gone,  that  his  faime  wiU  grow  less 
in  the  next  generation,  and  flag  upon  the  course. 

Marcus  Aurelius. 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Men  spend  their  lives  in  anticipations,  in  deter- 
mining to  be  vastly  happy  at  some  period  Tvfien 
they  haJfe  time*  We  may  lay  in  a  stock  of 
pleasures  as  w^e  would  lay  in  a  stock  of  wine ;  but 
if  we  defer  tasting  them  too  long,  we  shall  find 

that  both  are  soured  by  age. 

C.  C.  Colton. 

A  man  uses  up  his  best  energies  in  being  agree- 
able to  other  people,  and  then  drags  the  dregs  of 
himself  home  to  a  patient  wife  and  expects  her  to 

"poor  dear"  him. 

Nettie  Seeley  Murphjf. 

Men  may  blush  to  hear  what  they  were  not 
ashamed  to  act. 

Anon. 

He  draweth  out  the  thread  of  his  verbosity  finer 
than  the  staple  of  his  argument. 

Liove's  Liabor's  Lost. 

A  very  gentle  heast  and  of  a  good  conscience. 

Shakespeare. 

122 


ADAM'S      SONS 


Man,  proud  man, 

Drest  in  a  little  brief  authority, 

Most  ignorant  of  what  he's  most  assured, 

His  glassy  essence  —  like  an  angry  ape. 

Plays  such  fantastic  tricks  before  high  heaven 

As  makes  the  angels  weep! 

Shakespeare. 

Geniuses  may  go  about  unshorn,  but  don't  try 
to  measure  all  men's  brains  by  the  length  of  their 
hair. 

Merman  Lee  Meader. 

The  man  who  is  allwuss  trying  to  kreate  a  sen- 

sashun,  will  git  so  pretty  soon,  that  he  kant  even 

kreate  a  disturbance. 

Josh  Billings. 

Man  spends  his  life  in  reasoning  on  the  past,  in 

complaining  of  the  present,  and  in  trembling  for 

the  future. 

Rivarol. 
125 


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